No. 352: 52nd Street

Band: Billy Joel
Album: 53nd Street
Why Rolling Stone gets it right: Billy Joel's sixth record is his most rock-oriented. It's still "what theater people think [of] punk rock," for the most part. His class struggle anthem "Big Shot" is the closest he ever came to actual rock and roll and it's pretty well-constructed.
Why Rolling Stone gets it wrong: We're still looking at Billy Joel here. This is Meat Loaf without the orchestration, Elton John with a terrible blue collar streak, a lounge singer with a chip on his shoulder.
Best song: "Big Shot." Obviously.
Worst song: "Rosalinda's Eyes" is awful.
Is it awesome?: Nope.

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Edit: Someone (I'd name this person but s/he commented anonymously) has corrected several of my misperceived notions about Mr. Joel. I was not familiar with his life story as a down-and-out piano player, nor his father's time in Cuba, nor his seemingly lyrical theme of independence. It doesn't change my feeling on the album (and, Anonymous, I know that Meat Loaf never wrote his songs and that Elton John never wrote his lyrics. The comparison wasn't in songwriting skill relative to those guys, but the whole package relative to those guys.), but I feel I've let my Billy Joel-loving readers down. Whoever you are.

Like a good journalist, I offer this edit as a correction of sorts. I will leave up my erroneous post, but direct you to the comments section to see what I got wrong.

I was derelict in doing research on this album, probably because I hate it. Not to make excuses, but, this is a breakneck pace and I am a little rushed. I work full-time and go to graduate school part-time. This project is merely a hobby and I often don't do as much research as I should.

I invite anyone to comment and correct any errors in fact or pieces of information I've left out. Obviously, all the opinions are solely my opinions and I invite readers to give their own opinions. Even if they start with "You are a moron."

Finally, I invite the anonymous commentor to check my piece on "The Stranger" to check anything I got wrong.

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As the phrase goes, Billy Joel's best album is like calling someone the tallest dwarf. It's still a dwarf and this album is still barely listenable.

Billy Joel is the lounge singer in Tom Waits' "The Heart of Saturday Night," basically. He's the singer with huge dreams and a smile. He considers himself better than what he is. There's a certain sadness in that and certainly a fair amount of anger in the execution, as evidenced by this album's highlight, "Big Shot." Joel's sneer about the class system (that the song's character is addressing himself is certainly lost on most listeners and one of Joel's more clever writing tricks) is certainly a reaction to his success, but also a fit of anger from his years of being the lowly "Piano Man."

Nevertheless, the rest of the writing is stinky. "Find my Cuban skies?" Really? Billy Joel is calling someone "Senorita?" Come on, now. "My Life" is another of Joel's entertainment stereotype character studies (this time being a failed standup comedian) and the comparison Allmusic.com makes to Steely Dan is wildly overstated. Steely Dan is good, Billy Joel is not.

Billy Joel remains the theater kid's version of rock and roll. It's overly pronounced and dramatic. It's false, in a lot of way's and this album shows that falseness.

No. 67: The Stranger

Band: Billy Joel
Album: The Stranger
Why Rolling Stone gets it right: Like it or not, Billy Joel's a fantastically popular singer. His records are played at weddings, Bar Mitzvahs and various other celebrations. "The Stranger" (not associated with the Camus novel of the same name, sadly) has some of Joel's edgiest ("Only The Good Die Young," "Movin' Out") and most sentimental material ("Just The Way You Are").
Why Rolling Stone gets it wrong: I mean, it's Billy Joel. He's just a combination of a bad lounge singer, a bad Broadway composer and a Long Island knockoff of Elton John.
Best song: I'll be honest, I really don't like Billy Joel, as I find his over-the-top arrangements to sound too much like showtunes. This is pretty evident in the album's best song, "Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)." Lyrically, it's delightfully anti-bourgeois, but, musically, it sounds like something to be performed on Broadway, which it was.
Worst song: Everybody hates "Everybody Has a Dream."
Is it awesome?: I'd say no.

I really don't like Billy Joel. He doesn't occupy the same hatred space as the Eagles or U2. He isn't overrated but still not terrible like Springsteen. He's just, I don't know.

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Have you ever been to an actual "rock opera" (not a concept album that tells a story, but an actual opera using rock music in an actual theater) or rock and roll musical? They're usually written by playwrights and composers, not rock musicians. They're theater people, not rock music people.

You know the type of show I'm talking about. "Rocky Horror Picture Show." "Hair." "Rent." "Jesus Christ Superstar." The music isn't really rock and roll, it's just an song from a play with a distorted guitar. It's worst when they try to make it "edgy" or "punk." Basically, it translates to what theater people think punk rock is (which it isn't). It's packaging a subculture in a way that's palpable to people who don't want to actually listen to the real thing.

This is exactly why these songs are never released as singles. Real music buyers won't deal with that bullshit.

I don't like showtunes because of this perceived inauthenticity on my part. I make no bones about it; I am a pretentious fuck. Showtunes are anything but pretentious, they're just obnoxious and a false version of rock and roll (in the case of rock musicals).

Billy Joel makes showtunes. This is his best record and it's still almost entirely showtunes. "Movin Out (Anthony's Song)" is a cool anti-bourgeois lyrical jaunt, but one that's set against a silly saxophone and a piano showtune thing (still, it remains a good song). "Only The Good Die Young" is a fun anti-Catholic song, but along with it comes the ridiculous instrumentation.

I imagine these songs could be good when they're arranged differently, but this is the record we have. It's not great.

(I'll say this for Billy Joel, though: He isn't taken as seriously as U2 or the Eagles. No one says Joel makes the records that define their lives. That's a plus, being that his music isn't great.)