No. 457: For Everyman

Band: Jackson Browne
Album: For Everyman
Why Rolling Stone gets it right: Um...
Why Rolling Stone gets it wrong: Jackson Browne was one of the leaders of the "California"
Best song: "These Days" is the best song on the album and the best song Browne has ever written.
Worst song: The rest of the album is basically dung.
Is it awesome?: Nope.

I am not really familiar with the rationale behind three Jackson Browne albums on this list. His songwriting, I guess, is sometimes interesting and I'll definitely give that to him.

This album has a few decently-written songs. "Our Lady of the Well" is a nice little religious thing and "These Days" is a well-manicured song. Of course, Browne's version of the song pales in compared to the original version, when he wrote the song as a teenager for Nico.

Still, the first song on the album is the song co-written with the hateable Glenn Frey, "Take it Easy." Probably my least favorite song in history, "Take it Easy" is ridiculous in its simple stupid message and laid-back quasi-philosophy.

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You know what's amazing? Jackson Browne has some seriously famous folks helping him on this record. Along with Bonnie Raitt, Joni Mitchell, David Crosby and his friends the Eagles... Elton John (!) helped out on the album. That's pretty damned impressive.

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I can't stand the "California sound" and have made no real bones about that. There's a certain amount of boredom involved and the actual themes of the songs are remarkably boring.

No. 391: The Pretender

Band: Jackson Browne
Album: The Pretender
Why Rolling Stone gets it right: Oh, please.
Why Rolling Stone gets it wrong: Again, Jackson Browne. I hate him. The music is boring adult contemporary nonsense. Save for the Eagles -- great friends of Browne -- this is my least favorite artist on the list.
Best song: Oh, please.
Worst song: "Here Come Those Tears Again" is terrible.
Is it awesome?: Nope.

With all due respect to this California sound nonsense, I'd rather stick a spear in my ear than listen to this.

There's something to admire in the character study-type stuff Browne can write. I can imagine other artists covering this stuff and making it interesting. The title track is an interesting thing, but I can't stand it.

In the interest of fairness, I'll throw a bit of Robert Christgau's review in here:

This is an impressive record, but a lot of the time I hate it; my grade is an average, not a judgment. Clearly Jon Landau has gotten more out of Browne's voice than anyone knew was there, and the production jolts Ol' Brown Eyes out of his languor again and again. But languor is Browne's best mask, and what's underneath isn't always so impressive.

So, yeah. There's that.

No. 372: Late for the Sky

Band: Jackson Browne
Album: Late for the Sky
Why Rolling Stone gets it right: Browne's third record was his most mature and was written as such. The song's apocalyptic vision is thematically interesting.
Why Rolling Stone gets it wrong: I really hate Jackson Browne. As one of the leaders of the 1970s "California sound," his easy listening nonsense makes me want to stick knives in my ears.
Best song: The title track isn't terrible, though it's too long.
Worst song: The rest of the record is terrible.
Is it awesome?: Nope.

I'd be really curious to hear this album rerecorded by a harder artist. The simple fact is that I hate Jackson Browne. I hate his stupid folky guitar. I hate his stupid midtempo drum arrangements. I hate his major key piano stuff. I despise his hangdog vocals. I hate him.

But, the album's actually not a poorly written one, in fact, I think it would be a decent record re-arranged by a better artist. It's just that Jackson Browne fits with the Eagles in the laid-back, acoustic guitar and midtempo drums line of music. The crap that sold tons of records in the 1970s to white bread, mayonnaise sandwich eaters all across America. Today, this is known as "adult contemporary rock" and it sucks.

nevertheless, the idea of a love story set against the apocalypse intrigues me. Too bad it's executed so poorly.