No. 475: Tunnel of Love

Band: Bruce Springsteen
Album: Tunnel of Love
Why Rolling Stone gets it right: Argh.
Why Rolling Stone gets it wrong: "Born in the U.S.A" has its moments, but the follow up is very, very bad. Written largely about Springsteen's failing marriage, the album is disjointed and tortured. It's "Nebraska," but about love.
Best song: Blah.
Worst song: Just about all of them. Tons of horns, fast silly tempo.
Is it awesome?: Nope.

Divorce albums always have something to enjoy on them, but, because I can;t stand Springsteen, all I can find is junk on "Tunnel of Love." I know album covers aren't important, but Springsteen's ridiculous suit and bolo tie combo is indicative of just how dumb this record is.

I realize I'm not the person to judge this album, but I will say this: Springsteen's prescence on this is too great. As we've examined, the last 50-100 or so records on the list are basically throw-ins from the RS editors. There are a lot of random-ish bands or bands with no other albums on the list.

Look, I know I am not the average RS reader or musico. I understand that my disdain for Springsteen is atypical. And, honestly, my taste is my taste; It's not universal. And I'm not a moron. I know that Springsteen is a huge foigure in rock music. Having his albums on this list is reasonable.

But, "Tunnel of Love?" Please.

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From a conversation I had with a huge Springsteen fan yesterday:

RJG: What can you tell me about Tunnel of Love?
Springsteen Fan: Not much. It's one of the only ones I don't own. It's not on the list, is it?
RJG: It's tomorrow.
SF: Whoa. I always thought it was generally considered to kind of suck. I remember my mom had it when I was maybe 10. Someone got it for her. Neither of us liked it much at all.

That sums it up very well.

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Just to get the other side, I'll link to Robert Christgau's review

No. 379: Greetings from Asbury Park, N.J.

Band: Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band
Album: Greetings from Asbury Park, N.J.
Why Rolling Stone gets it right: Springsteen's debut album is a shape of things to come, with all of Springsteen's signatures.
Why Rolling Stone gets it wrong: You know my thoughts. I don't like the guy and this album reinforces those feelings. The songs are arranged in a way that saxophones get more play than they should, Springsteen's gravel growl annoys me and the faux country stylings get real old real quick.
Best song: Bah. My name is Ross and I'm a curmudgeon.
Worst song: See above.
Is it awesome?: Nope.

Really, I prefer this version of "Blinded by the Light:"

No. 250: The River

Band: Bruce Springsteen
Album: The River
Why Rolling Stone gets it right: Blah blah Springsteen, blah blah no E-Street Band, blah blah boomer erection, blah blah I don't like him.
Why Rolling Stone gets it wrong: See above.
Best song: "Hungry Heart” isn't bad.
Worst song: The album isn't really good, but “Ramrod” is specifically bad.
Is it awesome?: Not at all.

Two things about this album:

• I have a friend who likes Springsteen who specifically told me yesterday “Even I don't think 'The River' is all that great.” So, there's that.


• Whenever people review Magnolia Electric Co./Songs:Ohia records, this album is brought up. I love the Magnolia Electric Co. and after hearing this album, I can see the comparison, but, really, Magnolia Electric Co. records are always much better.

No. 224: Nebraska

Band: Bruce Springsteen
Album: Nebraska
Why Rolling Stone gets it right: "Nebraska" is Springsteen's least radio-friendly album and it's one of his most critically acclaimed. The record's spare production is a function of the song's starkness and it's actually quite listenable.
Why Rolling Stone gets it wrong: Springsteen is still Springsteen. Even on the one record of his I don't hate, there are points where I groan in pain.
Best song: Probably the title track, with its clear literary influences.
Worst song: "Used Cars" isn't very good.
Is it awesome?: It's the best Springsteen album. That's like being the smartest idiot, but it's something.

"Nebraska" was Springsteen's last non-radio album, succeeded immediately by "Born In The USA," his most radio-friendly album. For what it's worth, it's the record I like the most from him.

I have some friends who lived for a while in West Texas, which, I presume, is a lot like the (mostly mythical) Midwest/Dust Bowl Springsteen writes about. You know, the type of place where you can drive on the highway and not see anything for 100 miles. The band Explosions in the Sky (a favorite of mine) makes music that sounds like the vast expanses of West Texas; the movie and TV show "Friday Night Lights" uses Explosions records as theme music.

This appears to be what Springsteen is trying to get at and I probably shouldn't discount it. Damien Jurado (Seattle native that he is) did a similar thing on the fantastic "Where Shall You Take Me?" Most of the time, Springsteen's songs are misplaced as Dust Bowl and Midwestern settings; The E Street Band fills the record with cacophony of sax, extra guitars and backup singers.

"Nebraska" doesn't have that. Because the label simply released Springsteen's demos -- in lieu of getting the full band treatment -- the records solely feature harmonica, vocals and guitar on most songs. I don't love his voice, but his narrative songwriting is well-placed on this sort of folk turn.

"Highway Patrolman" is the typical "Nebraska" track. It's a wonderful little storytelling experiment about two brothers, set in Ohio. The song has the classic Springsteen themes -- Lots of driving, farming and crime -- and Springsteen fills in the gaps with his grizzled voice.

I've mentioned that I don't love Springsteen's voice. Because of this, I wholly recommend "Badlands: A Tribute To Bruce Springsteen's Nebraska." It's a tribute album from Sub Pop records. Some of the best Springsteen imitators (Crooked Fingers, Son Volt, Jurado, Ben Harper, etc.), country singers (Johnny Cash, Hank Williams III, etc.) and other mildly famous people (Ani DiFranco, Los Lobos, etc.) appear on the record. The songs vary from the great to the weird, but, generally, it's better than the original (you knew I was going to say that).

Still, "Nebraska" is the best Springsteen album. It takes all the good elements of Springsteen -- the writing, the road-weary outlook, etc. -- without all the nonsense.

No. 151: Darkness on the Edge of Town

Band: Bruce Springsteen
Album: Darkness on the Edge of Town
Why Rolling Stone gets it right: After the success of "Born To Run," Springsteen put out his most moody record. While "Born To Run" was optimistic and reverential, "Darkness" is dark and brooding. As a highway populist, Springsteen is nearly unparalleled.
Why Rolling Stone gets it wrong: While a fine album, it does not contain King's most famous song, "The Thrill Is Gone." Still, this is a fine placement.
Best song: "Badlands" is only ruined by a crappy sax solo.
Worst song: The title track isn't very good.
Is it awesome?: It's actually not bad.

It seems to me that there's a segment of Springsteen fans that calls each of his albums the best one. More than any other band, each record has its supporters as Springsteen's best. In doing research for this record, our good friend Wikipedia says "With its haunting themes of regret, failure and dashed hopes, many Springsteen aficionados consider this to be his finest album."

You don't see that with any other band. I don't think I've ever heard anyone defend "Please Please Me," "Beatles For Sale" or even "Let It Be" to be the Beatles best album. I've never heard anyone claim "The Who By Numbers" to be the Who's best record.

So... Springsteen has that going for him.

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With all that said, I didn't totally hate this album. There is some good populist writing on here (the operateive line comes in the opening track: "You spend your life waiting for a moment that just don't come" exemplifies a stuck-in-the-craptown feeling that exists in great negative rock) and Springsteen's writing is truly mean on this record.

"Adam Raised A Cain" is cheesy blues-rock nonsense, but it's powerful cheesy blues-rock nonsense (now with call-and-response chorus!). "Prove It All Night" appears to be about the Dust Bowl -- let me reiterate that Springsteen is from New Jersey -- but is a convincing story of lovers, nonetheless (forget that it thematically treads on the same ground as "Thunder Road."). "The Promised Land" is similarly depressing, though more tenderly so.

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Maybe I just enjoy Springsteen sounding like he's in pain. Maybe I find his Tom Carvel gargling acid voice to work well with darker lyrics. I don't know. "Darkness On The Edge Of Town" probably doesn't belong this high on the list, but it's the only Springsteen record I've enjoyed so far.

No. 132: The Wild, the Innocent and the E Street Shuffle

Band: Bruce Springsteen
Album: The Wild, the Innocent and the E Street Shuffle
Why Rolling Stone gets it right: Well...
Why Rolling Stone gets it wrong: There's a need to just jam Springsteen on here. Springsteen's two most popular records are already on here and his best ("Nebraska") won't appear for quite a while. So, it appears people just feel a need for Springsteen and this record is here because of that need. I guess the boomers who made up this list felt like they hadn't had a Springsteen record on here for a while, so why not put this one here?
Best song: I don't like a single bit of this album.
Worst song: "The E Street Shuffle" stinks.
Is it awesome?: No.

I don't even know how to write about this album. It's typical lame narrative songwriting about teenagers in New Jersey doing stupid nonsense in the mid-70s. On some level, "Born to Run" is something I can understand; It's easy to see why people love "Born To Run."

This one isn't the same. While it has one of the most detailed Wikipedia pages ever, I just can't get behind it. It's Van Morrison-esque, at times, in its incoherence and boring as can be musically. No thanks.

No. 85: Born In The U.S.A.

Band: Bruce Springsteen
Album: Born In The U.S.A.
Why Rolling Stone gets it right: Um. Well. Let's see. Springsteen is considered a classic songwriter of Americana and "Born In The U.S.A." is decidedly American. Lyrically, it's got a protesty-bent, though that's been misinterpreted by Republicans since it came out, basically.
Why Rolling Stone gets it wrong: Someone smart is going to have to explain to me why Springsteen is so great.
Best song: The title track is the best-known song, though I prefer "Glory Days" for a weird reason.
Worst song: "I'm on Fire" should be burned.
Is it awesome?: Nope.

I mentioned this in the Ray Charles piece, but 'm of an age where so much popular baby boomer iconography has been co-opted by commercial use, so some songs remind me not of the artist, but rather where I'm most familiar with the song. "Glory Days" reminds me not of the stupid video with the E Street Band where Springsteen goes back-to-back with the sax guy. Nope. I think of "Glory Days" and I think "Wow, I'm at a baseball game. I want a hot dog."

I love baseball. I don't love Springsteen.

I understand "Glory Days" is just a record about the "good old days." It's very boomer-esque in the idea that there were "glory days" to celebrate. Or maybe Springsteen is being ironic. I don't know.

I do know the title track is one that's been so misread, it's funny. Every conservative from George Will to Ronald Reagan thought "Born In The U.S.A." was a patriotic anthem of sorts, when, in reality, it counts down the missteps the United States made during the Vietnam war and after the war regarding the veterans. Springsteen pulls few punches:

I got in a little hometown jam
And so they put a rifle in my hands
Sent me off to Vietnam
To go and kill the yellow man

Not a lot of subtlety.

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I respect a lot of Springsteen's politics, heavy-handed as they are. Still, his version of sax solo/honky tonk piano rock and roll makes me want to vomit. It's manufactured Midwestern/Southern soul from a guy from goddamned New Jersey. Asbury Park, no less.

No. 18: Born To Run

Band: Bruce Springsteen
Album: Born to Run
Why Rolling Stone gets it right: Springsteen's breakthrough album has some of his most evocative songs, as well as the best production.
Why Rolling Stone gets it wrong: I'm not a Springsteen fan. His blue collar rock anthems like "Jungleland" fail to move me.
Best song: "Thunder Road" is a well-written song and I enjoy the covers of it by Mary Lou Lord and Tortoise/Bonnie "Prince" Billy. Really, though, the piano-driven way it's recorded makes it sound like a jock jam.
Worst song: Everything else stinks.
Is it awesome?: To someone, yes. To me? No way.

You know my biases. This is the key one. I don't like Springsteen. I find his gravely, almost-Tom Waits vocals to be irritating. I find his blue collar rock songs about New Jersey or (even worse) the dust bowl to be complete nonsense. I don't care about the streets of Philadelphia.

But, I'm trying to go about this project with a somewhat open mind and I'm trying to find positives in the music. A lot of people I know love Springsteen and there is a certain poetry to songs like "Thunder Road" and "Born To Run." As I mentioned, I really enjoy the Tortoise and Bonnie "Prince" Billy cover of "Thunder Road," specifically when Oldham sings "Mary's dress sways/like a vision she dances across the porch."

But, after listening to this album three times (in a row. The sacrifices I make for this stupid project) all I can think is "wow, this sounds like the kind of album you can only enjoy in a car." It sounds like driving on an open highway at night. This is not a compliment. I've driven many times through central Illinois in the middle of the night. It's boring.

Maybe it's fun in New Jersey. It isn't fun in the Midwest.